


Call me home

by Sylvalum



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Relationship Negotiation, Steve Needs a Hug, kinda self-indulgent not gonna lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-18 12:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18699412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum
Summary: “You need to stop feeling guilty, live a little.” Tony says carefully. “And I missed you.”Steve’s heart beats like he’s in the middle of a leap and throwing his shield.Tony coughs. “Also, Pep’s got a crush.”





	Call me home

**Author's Note:**

> **SPOILERS** for the beginning of endgame

 

Steve is waiting on the terrace, trying to summon up some of that steadfast confidence he’s supposed to be famous for. Just enough to ring the doorbell. After that he can improvise the rest. And in case of emergency he can always hide behind the flowers and wine he bought because he couldn’t think of anything Tony would want. And now, staring at his surroundings, he really can’t think of _anything_ , because he’d never have guessed that Tony Stark would retire to a place… a place as _peaceful_ as this.

There’s a lake, and a shed, and a forest surrounding the house. Steve swears he can even see a hammock strung up between two trees. It’s so homely and sweet that Steve feels abruptly like an intruder, and he almost convinces himself to turn back around and flee to his car before anybody spots him, but then there’s people moving behind the door. Voices talking. Steve makes his expression look normal just in time as the door opens, and a little kid stumbles out, staring up at him with big curious eyes.

Behind the kid is Pepper, who’s as striking as ever and only looks mildly surprised to see Steve, and next to her stands Tony. He doesn’t even look at Steve, just says to the kid, “What do we do when we get guests, Morgan?”

“Say hi!” exclaims the kid. “Hi mister.”

“Exactly,” Tony says, and turns to make excruciating eye contact with Steve, who’s still reeling from the kid’s appearance. “Hello, Cap,” he says. It’s very uncomfortable even though Tony isn’t doing a single thing, just looking at him with a raised eyebrow, and next to him Pepper is slowly scrutinising Steve.

Steve parries by slightly desperately handing the flowers to Pepper and shoving the wine and card at Tony. “Happy er, late birthday, Tony,” Steve says. Then he remembers to _be positive!_ and says, “I love your farm. It’s very idyllic.”

“Thank you, Steve,” Pepper says very gracefully and smiles at him. “Why don’t you come inside the house?”

“I-“ Steve begins. Thinking back to several years ago, thinking he shouldn’t intrude because he’s already intruded too much, thinking he’s kind of a fool-

“Are you an Avenger?” asks Morgan, and Steve starts. “Dad, is he an Avenger? Can I show him my robot?”

“Sure, pumpkin,” Tony says, smiling at his daughter, and then he gives Steve another incomprehensible look.

Steve doesn’t know what to do.

Pepper sighs and hands the flowers to Tony, so he’s got both hands full. “Just come inside Steven, thank you, wipe your shoes on the mat-“

Pepper then efficiently shoos them all over to what must be the living room, and Steve just keeps – staring at everything. The cosy furniture, the photos on the walls, the fireplace… Pepper sits Steve down on a sofa, with _throw pillows_ on it, and then Tony disappears somewhere with the flowers and wine, while Tony’s kid – she kinda looks like him oh god – bounces up to Steve, holding a tiny robot. “This is Agatha,” she says seriously. “Me and dad built her together.”

“Isn’t she cute?” Pepper says, smiling.

“Mom named her!” Morgan chimes in, and Pepper pulls up Morgan to sit in her lap, presses a kiss to her forehead. Steve feels a stab of longing so intense it’s like heartbreak, but all the same he can’t stop himself from starting to smile. He’s – he’s happy for them. He actually thinks he is. They made it. Tony and Pepper, they really did it, they built a home together. And it hurts that nobody else managed to, but he can’t fault Pepper and Tony for finding some happiness, can he?

Move on, as he keeps telling people.

“So, Cap,” Tony says, appearing with a stack of glasses and a jug of – juice? “Did you drive all the way out here just to wish me happy birthday, when my birthday was actually five days ago-“

“Six days ago,” Pepper corrects absentmindedly, taking a glass.

“-time is a social construct, what does it matter – or did you have another reason?”

 _No, I just felt really lonely and nostalgic and then Nat reminded me about your birthday, and you know how it is, I don’t have any family to spend time with anyway_. “I haven’t seen you in a long time,” Steve settles on. “And then, it was your birthday.”

“You should visit sometimes,” Pepper tells him. “How are the others doing?”

“Well…” Steve talks a little bit about Nat, and about Carol and Rocket and Okoye. What he knows. He figures Rhodes tells them what he’s been up to himself, and it’s not any sort of fun hearing about how the search for Hawkeye is going, so Steve skips right over that, and then he’s running out of things to say. Pepper’s poured him some juice but he hasn’t touched it, and Tony is again looking at him so very thoughtfully. Steve sits incredibly still in response.

“Well,” Tony says. “You haven’t burned the compound down yet, so I figure you’re doing alright.”

Steve nods grimly.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Pepper asks.

“Oh, no, I shouldn’t-“

“Please stay for dinner,” Tony quickly interrupts. “I’m learning to cook, you can be a test subject, c’mon, it’ll be fun! And probably not hazardous to your health. I mean, you’re a super soldier, you’ll be completely fine.”

“Please?” Morgan asks next, tilting her head and looking at him with a pleading look very reminiscent of a face Steve has seen Tony pull once.

“I… Alright. As long as it won’t be any trouble for you-“

“Of course not,” Pepper says.

“What she said,” Tony agrees.

Steve feels like he’s being manipulated, but when everyone else in the house is smarter than him, then honestly that’s to be expected.

And Tony isn’t mad at him. Pepper actually seems to want him there. Morgan is just excited to show anybody her robot, and her drawings, and her room – and soon Steve is sitting on the floor of Morgan’s room, letting Morgan show her around like it’s an art gallery or high tech lab. It’s so nice! Tony has a kid now! Tony is _married_ now! Wow.

So why does Steve feel like he’s actively dying, sitting right here on the unicorn-patterned carpet in Morgan’s room, as Pepper and Tony’s kid shows him a drawing she made of her mom in armour?

Honestly, Steve _knows_ he’s failed at life, he doesn’t need his brain to start screaming it at him when confronted by somebody who, against the odds, has their shit in order. Of course Steve would like to also have _his_ shit in order, and being less lonely would be nice too, but he shouldn’t start feeling _bad_ about – about intruding on Tony’s and Pepper’s happy ending. Or maybe he should. Why did he even come here now again?

“Are you daddy’s friend?” Morgan asks all of a sudden.

Steve smiles but it feels very brittle. “Maybe you should ask your dad about that.” _Not making assumptions is a good thing, Steven._

“Why haven’t you visited before?” Morgan then asks innocently. The look she gives him then is purely Pepper.

“Because I… haven’t had the time.” Steve then immediately feels bad about the little lie. He sighs. “Because I didn’t know if I’d be welcome here, whether Tony- whether your dad would want me to...” Maybe he should stop heaping angst on the kid. He tries another smile. “I could visit more in the future?”

Morgan examines him for a moment. “Yes, please,” she then says.

Then, the much anticipated dinner. It’s perfectly edible if you ask Steve, but his opinion on food is forever going to be biased thanks to being born a hundred years ago _,_ so Sam would – disqualify him. But Sam’s dead, and now Steve is making himself miserable again. He’s kind of a terrible guest. Pepper and Tony on the other hand are perfect hosts as usual, witty and welcoming and urging him to have more of the food. Morgan is just adorable. Steve tries not to want what they have far too much, and eats some more of Tony’s pasta dish.

He should probably leave soon.

He doesn’t really want to.

It’s – he doesn’t want to _stay_ , it feels awkward enough already – it’s just that he doesn’t want to go back to the world after the snap again. This place is so much brighter than anywhere else he’s been for weeks, and Steve’s starved for sunlight. He wants, he wants, he wants.

 _Move on_ , as he keeps telling people.

Tony starts to clean up the table and Morgan attempts to help. Steve collects the plates too quickly for anyone to object and puts them in the sink, and then Pepper brings over the glasses. Tony fills the sink with water and soap and they leave the dirty dishes there, and this is the part where Steve says _thank you, goodbye, maybe I’ll see you next year-_

“Could I talk with you?”

Steve turns to face Pepper. “Um,” he says. “Sure.”

Tony claps his shoulder as he walks past, disappearing somewhere with Morgan, and Steve – Steve follows Pepper. She leads him out to the patio, and Steve thinks, _ah_ , time to leave.

Then Pepper sits down on a bench and motions for him to do the same. Steve sits down next to her with only mild nervousness and looks out at the lake. The sky’s going dark with sunset and the reflection on the water is following suit, and he almost longs for a brush – but he’s a guest, and he’s leaving, and he can’t. When he glances at her, Pepper regards him with a kind but patient look, and she says, “You know, you could stay here for a few days.”

Steve needs to take a breath.

“I can’t.”

“And what’s stopping you?”

“I lead a counselling group.” Ok, that’s not- “And other things, I… you wouldn’t want me here.”

“I think we can decide that for ourselves.” Pepper arches an eyebrow at him, and Steve huffs out a weak laugh.

“Tony-“

“Would actually not mind, I think, unless you’ve picked up some really annoying habits,” Tony says, stepping outside and startling Steve. “Like watching TV really loudly at two am, not that you would do that, right.” He stops. “Pepper, we do have a TV right?”

“Yes, dear.” Pepper rubs a hand across her face. “We do own a TV.”

“Steve,” Tony says, dropping down to sit on Steve’s other side. “It’s been a while.”

He doesn’t sound accusing, even.

“I know,” Steve says. “I’m sorry. I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

“We do.” Pepper again, leaning in closer. “You’re welcome here, right Tony?”

“Grudges are exhausting,” Tony says. “ _Please_ visit, Cap, we really don’t mind.”

He never stopped being handsome, but now his hair’s greying and his eyes are softer. Softer than they ever were for Steve, anyway, and Tony is a father now, and Tony is married now, remember?

“Maybe,” Steve says, looking down.

Pepper takes his hand and Steve starts, looks up just to stare.

“Relax,” Tony murmurs over his shoulder, and – it’s been a day. Steve’s giving up, because battles he could handle, but this just hurts.

“Just say what you mean,” he sighs. “I don’t understand what you’ve been trying to do, I don’t understand why you’re so nice-“

“Burying the hatchet,” Tony replies.

Pepper gives him a so very gentle look and says, “It’s alright, Steve. We want you here.”

“You need to stop feeling guilty, live a little.” Tony says carefully. “And... I missed you.”

Steve’s heart beats like he’s in the middle of a leap and throwing his shield.

Tony coughs. “Also, Pep’s got a crush.”

Pepper snorts, such an undignified giggle from the woman Steve still wants to call _ma’am_ , while Steve sits absolutely frozen as Pepper says, “Don’t act like I’m the only one.”

Tony huffs, and Pepper’s holding Steve’s hand in one of hers and Tony’s with the other, smiling, while Tony leans carefully into Steve’s side – and Steve can’t let them do this, now that he’s finally realised _what_ they are doing, but he wants it. Wants them. And he’s scared but he wants to try, but he really shouldn’t, except—

“Do you really,” Steve begins, and has to swallow. “Are you serious about this?”

“Yes,” Pepper says. “Do you want this?”

Tony is very noticeably quiet.

Steve closes his eyes, and sees Siberia, Tony yelling at him in the compound until he collapses, Steve scrolling through the contacts list on his phone and never even deciding to just text and ask _what’s up_? But if they’ve – if _Tony_ has – forgiven him… He should take chances, perhaps, instead of waiting away his second life too. This probably isn’t the way things are usually done, but the Avengers never did do anything like normal people. So “Yes,” he says. His voice sounds small and quiet.

“Just stay for a few days, Steve,” Tony says, gently. “You could try your hand at rowing a boat, or we could watch movies and cuddle on the sofa…”

“I…” Yes. “Alright,” Steve decides, and Pepper leans forward and kisses him, while Tony takes his hand.

 


End file.
